If you continue to experience the same themes/situations in your life, then everyone else is not the problem. It is time to check yourself. Self-sabotage is a real problem and the worst part is that you often don’t recognize this toxic behavior until you’ve run everyone out of your life, ruined several amazing opportunities, and/or hit rock bottom.
In this blog post I will share 4 ways to overcome self-sabotaging behavior.
1. Define Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
“The best thing the devil could have done was make people think he doesn’t exist”
Until you are able to call a spade a spade, a problem out by its name, it is not “real”, it is merely a concept that lives in your head. Self-sabotaging habits varies depending on the person. In some people it looks like pushing away everyone that cares about them, in others it looks like deliberately ruining dream opportunities, and in others it can be overindulging in substances, it can even go as far as self-inflicted injuries. What is your self-sabotaging behavior.
2. Check Your Emotions
“Feelings are not facts”
Often these behaviors are caused by a triggered emotion. You were hurt by one person so you isolated yourself, a major opportunity scared you so you just never showed up, you were devastated by the lost a loved one so you self-medicated with alcohol…There were times I’d be going through something that may have hurt my feelings, broken my heart, had me alllll “in my feelings” then I’d enter a room filled with people who loved me and still felt empty and alone, like no one was in my corner. I would in turn resent the people around me as if they hadn’t shown me the kind of love I needed or like they owed me something when they were never a part of the problem.
When you start to feel negative emotions ask yourself out loud (and answer out loud)…”self what is wrong with you?” You will find more times than not it is not what you are blaming. Check in with your emotions and clarify what you are feeling and the source of those feelings.
3. Accept Fear as a Part of Life
“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear”
We’re always told that fear isn’t real and it’s something we conjured in our own head, but our thoughts are powerful and they create our reality. In order to overcome fear we must first acknowledge that it is a real feeling and gain confidence in knowing we have what it takes to push through it. A self-sabotaging behavior that I know all too well is making decisions based on fear. The fear of finding yourself in the same situation as a past trauma.
What happens when your actions are based on fear is that you miss divine moments, you don’t maximize your purpose, and you limit yourself to move within the boundaries of your fears.