"Twenties are for you" -Judge Lynn
My older sister turned 30 this week and it caused me to reflect on my twenties.
At 20, I almost lost my life. At 21, I launched my first business. At 22, I completed study abroad trips to 3 different countries, and I received my bachelor's degree. At 24, I got married. At 25, I got divorced, lost everything, and moved across the country to start over. At 26, I launched my lipstick line. At 28 I wrote my first book and I am in the best position I've ever been in.
I said all of that to say that our twenties come in stages - the early twenties which are for making mistakes, trying to figure out what works and what doesn't, experiencing trial and error, and honestly just winging it. Our late twenties are for learning from those mistakes and taking the time to gain clarity on who we are and what we want.
"Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. We get better when we learn from our mistakes."
I know I had my life completely mapped out and I thought that in my twenties I would have everything figured out, I would achieve wealth, marry the man of my dreams, have children, and live happily ever after. As you read above life didn't happen according to my plan, but I do believe everything happened the way it was supposed to.
Your twenties are truly the tip of the iceberg. Even now at the age of 28, when I speak to women who are in their early twenties and they are discouraged by things that I have already experienced, I have this strong urge to let them know that it will work out. It also reminds me that I once thought that certain things were the end of the world and when I would talk to my mother, her response would be "that's it?"...What I've come to understand about her response is that there was no need to worry about every little thing because in due time life would throw real curve-balls. The small mishaps were setting me up, strengthening me, and preparing me to handle the true challenges that would occur.
Tips for navigating through your late twenties:
1. Document Everything
Get a journal! I do not not only journal the things that I am struggling with I document dreams, goals I have, the things I want, things that have failed and solutions for how to avoid the same failure in the future. My journals leave me clues, birth new products, and give life to new programs. Write it down!
2. Put Your Pride to the Side
You do not know it all. Even if you live to be 100 years old, you will never know it all. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Having a "fake it til you make it" mentality will cause you to cover up/hide certain vices and issues that will keep you stuck in your current position. Learn the art of transparency, not telling your business or putting yourself on front street, but being honest enough to say this is what I've struggled with and I need help.
3. Be Flexible
Sometimes you will make a plan and because life is unpredictable, you may have to change your plan to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. Be open to there being more than one route to take to achieve a goal, and be willing to explore those options.
4. Move at Your Own Pace
Do not try to move your timeline up or slow down your pace to match the pace of anyone else. We hit our late twenties and try to speed up the timeline, but all this does is causes us to seek things that we are not ready for and make an attempt to force ourselves into spaces that we don't fit in.
5. Trust Your Instincts
If it does not feel right...trust me...it is not right. That voice you hear, that feeling in your stomach, that is the security alarm for your purpose, peace, and happiness.