“The full definition of a breakdown- a failure to function; failure to progress or have effect; a physical, mental, or nervous collapse; the process of decomposing.”
In my short time on this earth I have had the pleasure (rolling my eyes as I type) of being thrown one curve ball after the next, resulting in me striking out on several occasions. For some reason it is easier to retreat, to run and hide from the issues, and to get so detached from reality that we allow our strikeouts to consume our entire lives. Each day is a battle and we have to treat it as such. We have to fight to stay focused, level headed, and to look at each day from a confident and positive perspective. I would like to share some powerful tips that I have learned over the years to turn your breakdowns into breakthroughs.
(Tip: You may want to grab your journal and work your way through this one.)
Address the situation head on!
This has to be the most critical step in this entire process! You have to be able to put on your big girl skirt and admit that you are going through a breakdown. If you never face reality and admit your issue, you will never truly be able to do what it takes to win this battle. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am going through a breakdown!”
Honestly assess the situation. Ask yourself – How do I feel? What decisions did I make that lead up to this situation? What was my role in my breakdown? Am I hurt? Disappointed? What is missing?...
Look on as many levels as you can: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. The goal is to observe what is going on with you, and to look at the full, true picture with clarity.
Take Full Responsibility
Blaming others for where you are is a cop out, and a complete waste of your time! Ultimately, what’s happened/happening is a direct result of the choices you’ve made and the actions you’ve taken. Ask yourself- What got triggered? Did I initiate my own breakdown? Have I kept it going? Am I unable to stop?...
Be 100% responsible (not guilty). It does not mean you are a bad person, it just means that you are alive. Humans make mistakes do not beat yourself up or allow feelings of guilt to take you even deeper into your breakdown. Acknowledge your role, and keep going.
Clean up with yourself and anyone else involved. Be willing to forgive, forget, and let go. This step is a very difficult one; most breakdowns I have had or have discussed have been fueled by pain. Someone hurt you and you allow that pain and anger to lead you on a downward spiral. Be willing to apologize and ask for forgiveness, be willing to forgive yourself, and be willing to forgive even without an apology.
You cannot move forward if you are still holding on to the past.
What was the original mission/goal (if you don’t have a vision, mission or goal, take the time to create one now)? What are you passionate about? What do you wish to accomplish?
After gaining a clear vision, mission, or goal, COMMIT yourself to it! This is the action step, so it’s a lot easier said than done. Write it down, say it aloud, and share it with an accountability partner. Keep in mind that your accountability partner has to be in agreement with your vision. This step is where you will create a road map to reaching your goals. Ask yourself – What really matters? What has to be done right away/what is the top priority? How can I measure my goals? (Fill in the blank) _______ means that I am moving forward and _______ means that I am moving backwards. Make sure your goals are measurable – how will you know your progress if you cannot track it?
Congratulate yourself for having the courage to take responsibility for your life! This is not about being big headed or on a high horse. This is about having done the work and beginning to live your very best life!