As I reflect on the past 29 years of my life, I can admit that I have truly underestimated the influence other people have had on my life. People will fall into one of two categories in your life: a person will come in the form of a blessing -further pushing you towards your destiny, or a person will come in the form of a distraction -pulling you further away from your purpose. In this post, I am sharing a few key lessons that I have learned because of my connections with other people.
1. Do not be afraid to admit or acknowledge when you are too good!
I was raised believing that “the only time you look down on anyone is when you are helping them up” I have had this saying instilled in me since I was a child and to this day it still sticks with me. My biggest mistake was misinterpreting the meaning of this quote. See there is a difference between looking down or judging someone and holding yourself to a high standard. Allow me to further explain...
You are the gatekeeper to who comes in and who leaves out of your life, and it is YOUR job to protect and value what is special about you. I ended up dumbing myself down because I did not want to deal with the pressure of standing out. I accepted things that I should not have because I understand that people make mistakes and need to be forgiven. I stayed connected to people longer than I should have because I did not want to be judgmental…people can change, right?
My thought process was not wrong at all, but I had to restructure the way I went about things. When you don’t make rising up to meet your standards then you make the mistakes of others your burden to carry. In business, family, relationships, friendships, etc. you have to teach people how to treat you.
Assess your connections and detach from anyone who does not line up with where you are or where you are headed, GUILT FREE. You are too good to waste time and energy in a space where it is not valued.
2. You are not for everyone
Everyone will not like you and honestly you won’t like everyone either, those feelings are often temporary so do not be fooled into acting on them. You cannot control what others think of you and you will kill yourself if you try. You can only control how you behave and react in different situations.
Social media makes “shade” seem like some sort of hot trend, especially since the people who are constantly throwing shade are being praised for it. If you happen to be the victim of shade it is extremely difficult to ignore and not feed into it. I just look at it like this, if someone thinks enough about you to try to get to you then you have already won half the battle. Win the other half by continuing to ignore anything that does not add to your vision or bank account. Mind over matter.
The rumors will not stop and the unsolicited opinions will not stop, so take a deep breath, smile, nod, and remind yourself…”I am exclusive, I am tailor made, and I am not for everyone.”
3. Be intentional about who you spend your time with
If someone is going to be in your life there has to be a purpose. If someone wants to enter your life they should fall into 1 of 3 categories
Adding to your life
A stagnant person can easily be filled with negativity –which adds negative influence to your circle.
Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
Where am I trying to go?
Then ask yourself - What kind of friends, business partners, family members, significant other, etc. would align with that vision?
These are areas you are not willing to compromise in. Don’t give a person the job unless they fit you’re your criteria.