A Letter to My Cysters: Anesha Stanley

A Letter to My Cysters is a series highlighting women who have battled with PCOS, infertility, endometriosis, or have experienced a miscarriage. This month we are featuring Anesha Stanley.
A Story of Pregnancy Loss & Infertility My husband Ronald and I are high school sweethearts. When we got married June 14, 2008 we took time to enjoy our marriage and finally have some time together after a 7 year long distance relationship.   We settled back home in Saginaw to began our careers. We waited 5 years before trying to conceive and thought the process would be easy. We wanted our first child to be a girl! However that desire was quickly...
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The Season of Silence: Resetting Your Focus

“Never discuss a problem with someone who’s incapable of solving it” -We make something insignificant much more important when we...
“Never discuss a problem with someone who’s incapable of solving it” -We make something insignificant much more important when we give it our attention. No complaining, no venting...it’s time to keep our mouths closed in this season. God is rewarding those who stay focused. This morning I was in prayer and meditation and had one of the largest revelations I’ve received in months. The thing about revelations is that they are so fundamental, and maybe something you feel you should...
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Managing Bad Days

Life happens to everyone, it never stops, it never slows down, and it can be so unpredictable at times. It is so funny (in an ironic way) when I get email or social media messages from people feeling like their life is in shambles and asking me for advice on how to put it back together. Every time I am presented with that question I self-reflect and try to figure out what is it about me, what have I displayed that would make this person feel that I am capable of answering a question of that magnitude...then it hit me...success or "having it together" is not the absence of bad days, but it is knowing how to handle those bad days.
Life happens to everyone, it never stops, it never slows down, and it can be so unpredictable at times. It is so funny (in an ironic way) when I get email or social media messages from people feeling like their life is in shambles and asking me for advice on how to put it back together. Every time I am presented with that question I self-reflect and try to figure out what is it about me, what have I displayed...
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How to Deal With Copycats

"You can copy without trying...hearing/seeing something a numerous amount of times embeds it into your subconscious...be careful of ideas that aren't yours.”
"You can copy without trying...hearing/seeing something a numerous amount of times embeds it into your subconscious...be careful of ideas that aren't yours.” As an entrepreneur, you are a visionary and a creator, you have the responsibility to not only conceptualize but to also nurture, maintain, and grow your business; similar to the way a mother births and raises a child. If a parent allows their child to play at a park, even though there is a sea of other children...
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5 Mistakes I’ve Made in Business

I learned the hard way that the old saying “nice guys finish last” is somewhat true…you can be a nice person, but don’t be so nice that it costs you time, money, and professional connections. Everyone is not meant to be a part of what you are building, so do not give so much of you that when you need to be replenished, you don’t have anything left to give to yourself.
1. Not Setting Goals Without clearly defining my goals, I may as well have been taking shots in the dark. Goals have to be specific, measurable, and realistic. Being specific gives you a clear path to follow when working towards your goals. Setting measurable goals enables you to track your progress and paints a clear picture of where you are/how far you have to go. Making your goals realistic, based on your resources and skill set, helps you to develop...
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Managing Anxiety While Building Your Career

I know anxiety prevents so many people from having healthy relationships and I know that sometimes when I perceive people to be malicious it’s really just my anxiety speaking. I am in a constant state of keeping myself in check. 
I wish I could say anxiety stops once you leave a toxic work place or once you become an entrepreneur but the fact is the levels flare in any capacity. Networking and scaling my businesses caused me to connect and collaborate with different professionals and what I learned slowly over time is that when something isn’t a good fit our intuition will cause our anxiety to flare up. Once that anxiety flares up, we become easily offended and everything from...
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Self-love Means Sticking to the [Girl] Code

When I look at another woman, I see myself. Anytime another woman shows her heart, shows her scars, tells her story, I am instantly thankful because she had the courage to do something that she may not have realized she was doing. She had the courage to be a beacon of hope for another woman. She had the courage to show another woman that they are not alone in this fight.
When I look at another woman, I see myself. Anytime another woman shows her heart, shows her scars, tells her story, I am instantly thankful because she had the courage to do something that she may not have realized she was doing. She had the courage to be a beacon of hope for another woman. She had the courage to show another woman that they are not alone in this fight. Growing up, I lacked community from other women, not...
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How to Stop Comparing Yourself

If you are comparing yourself to others, you will never “be good enough”.

Comparison is one of the top dream killers…anytime you take your eyes off your own mission, you immediately begin to sink. You must make a conscious effort to kill the habit of comparison because it really is a losing battle. Comparing yourself to others will keep you from seeing what is valuable about yourself and what is valuable about the people around you.

If you are comparing yourself to others, you will never “be good enough”. Comparison is one of the top dream killers…anytime you take your eyes off your own mission, you immediately begin to sink. You must make a conscious effort to kill the habit of comparison because it really is a losing battle. Comparing yourself to others will keep you from seeing what is valuable about yourself and what is valuable about the people around you. Honestly, do you really...
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Dear Black Girl, You Can Cry if You Want To...

In truth, I have never seen any of the women in my life crying outside of a funeral. I now realize that this defense mechanism was developed because there was no safe space where black women could fully express themselves. There was also no time to express themselves as they have had to move through one obstacle and right on to the next.

As an advocate for self-love I am here to let you know dear black girl, that you can cry if you want to…

Growing up I was always taught that tears were a sign of weakness, so as a result, I have spent most of my life out of tune with how I feel. My interpretation of this saying was that it was not ok to be sad, not ok to be hurt, not ok to be frustrated, not ok to be upset, not ok to feel. In truth, I have never seen any of the women in my life crying outside of...
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Alignment for the Next Level

The thing about revelations is that they are so fundamental, and maybe something you feel you should have known all along, but a revelation from God can only happen when you open your ears to HEAR and you open your heart to RECEIVE what is being revealed to you. Each new level brings a new set of problems, a new learning curve, and a space where you have to reject your old way of thinking and your old way of doing things. 
“Never discuss a problem with someone who’s incapable of solving it”  -We make something insignificant much more important when we give it our attention. No complaining, no venting...it’s time to keep our mouths closed in this season. God is rewarding those who stay focused. The thing about revelations is that they are so fundamental, and maybe something you feel you should have known all along, but a revelation from God can only happen when you open your ears to HEAR...
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Stop Asking Women When They Are Getting Married or H...

Two conversations people should really stop forcing women to have is “when are you getting married?” and “when are you having children?”. People have no clue what battles women are fighting (men either, but this article is from a woman’s perspective). Allow women to do these things in their own time.
Two conversations people should really stop forcing women to have is “when are you getting married?” and “when are you having children?”. People have no clue what battles women are fighting (men either, but this article is from a woman’s perspective). Allow women to do these things in their own time. This is a post that I have wanted to share for quite some time now. Certain things are out of our control, especially when it comes to conceiving and...
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The Season of Isolation

“And make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders, and so that you will not be dependent on anybody” - I Thessalonians 4:11-12
“And make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders, and so that you will not be dependent on anybody” - I Thessalonians 4:11-12 I wrote “this is my season of isolation” in my journal. I’ve also been hearing God speak this to me, but I wasn’t sure what He meant by this....
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